Tuesday, February 24, 2009

A dog's day

I know I'm not supposed to be on the couch, but neither is Harold. Maybe if I look down you won't see me:

OK, now I'll just start flicking out my tounge and scare you out of disciplining me:

Stop pretending you can fly Harold! I think it's working:

Ewww! Get away Harold!

tobacco jerk

Last night I was driving in California at about 70MPH when a guy walked in front of the car which was in front of me and tossed a cartons worth of tobacco into the grill of the car! I was pretty angry that he would do that to someone.

When I got to him he tossed more tobacco into my side window! Road rage took over and I swerved at him. He must have been pooned (see the novel Snowcrash) to something because I couldn't hit him and he appeared to be just floating or running at 70 MPH!

When I got to my destination restaurant he walked in after me and was challenging me to a fight. He was at least 6' 7" (my roommate is 6' 5" so I have a good feel for height estimates these days) and built like a tank!

I told him I was calling 911 and he responded by calling 911.

Then I started to worry that throwing tobacco into people's cars wasn't as bad as trying to run them over in revenge. This jerk was going to win!

Then, thankfully, I woke up.

Friday, February 6, 2009


As my friend at http://planetary-gears.blogspot.com/ has pointed out: this story is making the rounds on the local blog scene: http://www.forbes.com/2009/01/29/cities-top-ten-lifestyle-real-estate_0129cities.html

So for those of you living in the sunbelt or on the coasts please take note: it's TERRIBLE here in Minnesota! You have it figured out and are totally right so stay where you are.

The winters are so excruciatingly painful that folks who grew up here talk in very brief sentences (e.g. we use folks instead of people: one less letter, one less syllable). People think we are dull here, nope we have been frozen so many times we can't risk the extra energy to use more words. Same goes for outward expression and dancing. Why do you think this blog doesn't come out very often for gosh sakes!

You are probably thinking you'd like to visit in the summer if at all: bad move! Summer is when most people are killed here like the 213 people two July's back when a blizzard took everyone by surprise. Most of those people were out in the endless woods we have here and weren't found until the following June when it finally thawed out.

There are also hordes of mosquitoes here which carry diseases like West Nile Virus, Malaria, Herpes, and the big ones have been known to transmit bird flu. During our very brief summer we Minnesotans spend our time running for cover from the incessant thunderstorms and totally random and unpredictable tornadoes all the while covered from head to toe on even the hottest of days (it can get as high as 40F) to try to keep safe from the mosquitoes.

I had a friend when I was growing up who rode his bike to the store on a completely clear sunny day only to be swept up by a tornado and dislodged two counties over! We never found his limbs, wolves probably got them.

Heaven forbid you don't get all the mosquitoes out of your house in the fall. When one of those pests gets into your attic for the winter it can lay 1000s of eggs and all it takes is one warm spell (20F or warmer) and your house now has a horde of infection raining down on you and your children.

You just have to live with it until spring (usually in June, sometimes later) when you can finally get out of the house, raze it , and re-build before winter comes (usually in August, sometimes sooner).

Play it safe people: stay away!